How do we get through the rough times?
How do we respond when life kicks us in the gut?
Life definitely has a way of kicking us in the gut, and this either keeps happening over and over again, or, we develop tools to manage the kicks and keep moving forward, getting through the rough times in life.
I’ve never shied away from one of life’s swift kicks and I’ve always come out ahead. It’s not been without times of pain, frustration, sadness, or feelings of defeat, but the tools I have used throughout my life have always come through for me.
Life happens FOR you and not TO you and I have always believed that. We may not know the reason at the moment, or even be able to wrap our heads around what is going on and how it could possibly be happening for us, but yes, it’s true. I have capitalized on this fact my entire life.
Meaning that nothing, no matter how scary it is or how hard the kick is, keeps me sidelined for very long. From my younger years (high school and 20s) when life seemed to be having its way with me (that’s a story for another time!), to losing my baby boy to complications of a birth defect at 29 days old, and then losing my grandma in 2007, my dad in 2014 and most recently, my mom in January, 2019, life has definitely had its share of kicks.
Here are my top tools/strategies for taking one of life’s kicks and getting through the rough times.
Be An Observer
Look at your life from the outside, from a different perspective. It’s okay to step away from the problem or situation for a moment and observe what is going on… what is going wrong, but also what is going right.
Too often people focus intently on the “wrong” and they lose sight of all that is wonderful and beautiful in their life. Even though the losses in my life were very difficult, I am grateful I was able to spend quality time with each one of them during their last days.
In the past. I have struggled with entrepreneurship and creating my life my way, but in all the struggle there has been tremendous personal growth, purposeful living, and being an inspiration to others.
There is always something that is going right, always something you can learn… and it’s all happening FOR you.
By far, one of the most valuable habits you can put in place is to practice gratitude every day… and kick it up a notch when you receive one of those ass whippins’ in life!
Saying out loud what you’re grateful for and saying “thank you” for everything you can, instantly raises your vibe, raises your energy level, and raises your awareness of how awesome your life is.
Recently, while navigating through a rough time, I stood in my living room and started saying “thank you for my _____” and rattled off every single thing I could think of, as fast as I could.
I heard this from a mentor of mine on one of her podcasts, and it did it right away. It totally worked! It totally raised my vibration and I was out of my funk.
Keep The Faith
You definitely have to have faith that the best is yet to come and trust the process by which things happen. You create your own reality by the thoughts you think, actions you take, and the language you use in your daily life.
If something isn’t right, you’re not feeling good about something, a situation has occurred, (i.e. you’re going through a rough time), stop and take a moment to just breathe. Realize that there is more to it than meets the eye.
The Universe wants the very best for you and is always working FOR you, not trying to make you suffer and live a shitty life. It’s just not the way.
Trust that everything is going to work out and focus on taking your next best step in the direction you want to go in. As long as it’s the next best step for you and your life, you are going to come out on top.
Little extra bonus for you…
You don’t want to live in all your shit. You want to observe it, acknowledge that it’s there, but you want to move through it. If you are continually getting kicked, you HAVE to stop and take a look at your life and what YOU are doing to attract all these situations, people, problems… whatever it is.
You create your reality… your have way more power than you believe you do.
You can simply shift your mindset and do something different. Often times when you switch gears, shock your brain into another “mode” by doing something different, this frees up energy and ‘space’ so that you can receive answers, solutions, and strategies.
Taking time to be still can be of great benefit during those moments of struggle.
With all of this being said, sometimes one of those kicks can be so hard it will take you down for the count for a period of time.
The point is to continue taking a step forward… even if you are in a fog. After losing my grandma, I was a complete mess for a YEAR! I thought I was okay and on the outside I looked like I was okay… but I look back now and my life was a total mess. Still, I continued just taking a step and trusting the process.
In January, when I made the 24-hour drive back to Michigan (we live in San Antonio), I was able to spend 12 hours with my mom before she passed, unexpectedly from my perspective, however, it was in her perfect timing. It was the most tragic event of my life and I was in complete disbelief for a while after.
Without my personal growth the past few years, a deeper understanding of the spiritual realm and a wonderful support system, I would have crumbled. I did crumble for a bit, but then I moved through the darkness and into the light. A new business was birthed, JoLi Design Solutions, and I am well on my way to a freaking amazing life.
This would not have been possible without the tools I shared above, plus I incorporated journaling (a lot of it), meditation and I practiced mindfulness – quieting myself and just being with my thoughts – which was extremely difficult at times, but I kept using my tools and eventually, the good moments far outweighed the struggling moments.
You can take life’s kicks and come out on top. You don’t have to suffer.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice.